Archive for From Around the Web
Things Move Too Fast.
Posted by: | CommentsLast weekend Aiden lost his first tooth. When he first told me he had a loose tooth I thought he was joking. Children lose teeth, not my baby.
The night after we pulled his tooth out I heard him crying in his bed. When I asked him what was wrong his tears turned into a full on sob.
“I just want my tooth back in my mouth. I just want everything to go back to normal.”
It took all the strength in the world not to say “me too” and curl up with him and cry.
Things move too fast.
I have been thinking about going back to school. Actually, I have never stopped thinking about going back to school but I think I found a program I might actually want to do. A program that would work with my current life schedule. I am not ready to tell you what the program is but I can tell that if you thought I was crazy for getting a Philosophy degree? You are going to totally lose your mind on this one.
Last weekend I started working on my entrance essay and found myself pouring on to the page words that I didn’t know I had in me. What came out of it was a twenty-page memoir type essay about a story that I have spent the past five years trying to figure out how to tell.
I want to tell more stories.
Wednesday I wore a dress and tights and was probably over-dressed but I really didn’t care. I took the day off and instead of sitting in my office, building beautiful things and talking to myself, I went to see people! People! I decided that people seeing required tights and a dress. Because sometimes that is just the way it is.
I really want to re-invent this blog, or maybe delete and start a new blog from scratch. Sometimes I imagine that I could be a food blogger, or a craft blogger or maybe a humor blogger. But then I realize that I would have to learn to cook, or sew, or craft. These feelings aren’t just applicable to this blog, its how I think about my life sometimes too. Maybe I can erase and start anew as a baker, or a musician that travels the country, or maybe even a celebrity. Perhaps, I could be more Paris Hilton like?
It’s not that I don’t enjoy my life, I really do. I just wish there was more consistency in being me. I wish I had a specific talent or hobby or personality trait that perfectly described me. I try to imagine if I were a character in a book who I would be, but I am pretty sure that I wouldn’t fit into a book because my character would be too messy and all over the place. A good friend of mine describes me as “un-categorically strange,” because I can’t even fit into the traditional definitions of strange. I am my own kind of weird, my own kind character and sometimes that is completely annoying.
Today I am linking up with Just Write.
On a completely unrelated note you can find me over here this week talking about what trends we are going to see in the next year. I am also over here talking about How-To get press for your blog.
2011
Posted by: | CommentsSo much has happened in 2011 that I have been trying to figure out how I would recap it. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to focus on, ignore, celebrate, pretend didn’t happen, etc. It seems there were the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows.
Oh 2011, you were so bi-polar.
I considered creating a 2011 recap post with a bunch of pictures from the year. I started thumbing through Facebook to find pictures I could use and most of them looked something like this:
(last New Years Eve. Yes, those are potato chips in my hand)
And this:
(This was taken in March. I was pretending to be Marilyn Monroe–see the resemblance?)
I am really good at photo opps. Clearly.
This year Aiden and I moved into our first house and took my first full-time job. I traveled to New York, Chicago, Nashville, Palm Springs, New Orleans and San Diego. I wrote a ton, created more powerpoints than I ever imagined possible and watched over 70 episodes of Gossip Girl. (not an easy task) I grew my own food, got over my fear of public speaking, ate sea urchin, rode in a petty cab and survived Aiden’s first day of kindergarten. I met Drew Brees, Giuliana Rancic, Bob Harper and sat on Melissa Peterman’s lap. I welcomed old friends who came back home, I threw fits, quit speaking to people, made new friends, made up with old friends and became more demanding than I have ever been in my life.
A couple of months ago I went to Camp Mighty and attended a session that talked about intention and how we fit intention into our lives. It occurred to me that this past year I was not at all intentional with the things that I did and the way that I spent my time. I had absolutely no goals or direction other than survival. I was simply existing, wading through the days and hoping good stuff would happen. (and good stuff did happen)
When I was in college my entire experience was centered around this larger purpose of graduating college. I had this big lofty goal and all I had to do to achieve it was meet with my guidance counselor twice a year and check courses off of a list. At the end of that list was diploma and with that diploma all of my dreams would come true. Right?
After college there wasn’t any big lofty goal. I wasn’t the only person who spent their first year after college wading in the un-known—none of my friend’s seemed to have a center purpose for their lives either. Ok, there were a few of them who had long ago made it their goal to become President and were now sitting in the background of episodes of c-span but those are a rare breed.
I haven’t set one single goal and because of that I haven’t had any steps in place that were leading in any kind of direction.
2012 is going to be my year of intention.
My goal for 2012 is to set some goals.
I want to ask for lofty things that probably won’t happen but I can at least start building my life to move in the direction I need it to go.
What are your 2012 goals?
