There has been a ton of talk and hype about this quite popular show “Teen Mom.” I have not watched the show and I really never plan to.

I really hate talking about these things because I am partial. I had a child at eighteen.

Being a young mom is a lot of work. Not only do you have a new child to take care of but a journey to figure out who you are and who this person you are raising your child with is. It is a struggle and a dance that takes many years to perfect. Understanding the complexities of love and relationships. Making peace with the guilt that motherhood inevitably brings and coming to terms with who you are and this life that you are living. Being a young mother takes the journey of being a young girl and makes its so much more complex that you are lucky if you can wade through it successfully. You are lucky if you have a support team strong enough to pull you through.

Being a young mother is hard.

It is very easy to focus on the struggle that is being a young mother. The poor decisions that were made that got you there. The mistakes you should have thought through a little more and the sin that rides on your shoulders.

When I was pregnant with Aiden I was never met with a congratulations. I never expected one. However, I didn’t expect the mass number of strangers who would give the You know how you got that way talk. And the first time I was asked for parenting advice? Aiden was well over a year old and I still remember the feeling I got that day. The realization that not only was I a mother but a mother worthy of sharing advice about parenting.

I am not saying that we should promote young motherhood.

I am saying that we should stop exploiting it.

When a young mother succeeds? People are shocked.

As a society. As women. As humans capable of making mistakes. We have to stop focusing on the tragedy of having babies too young and start focusing on supporting and building up the young girls that had a baby too young.

Trust me, young girls know all of the reasons why they shouldn’t have babies. Very few sixteen year old girls want to give up prom for dirty diapers. They understand that motherhood is alot of work and can wait.

But the young girls that have found themselves in this struggle that is being a young mother? They are met with shameful looks. They are told how to parent not asked how they want to parent. They are encouraged to take the low paying job and to not shoot too high. They are put on reality television shows and giggled at as they fumble through what has to be the hardest time in their lives.

I have avoided writing about this for quite sometime. I shy away from talking about how young I had Aiden. I work hard to appear a little older, speak a little older, and act a little older. Because when you say you had a child at eighteen? You are are opting in to a whole plethora of stereotypes I don’t want to be associated with. But you know what? I had a child at eighteen. And I am almost finished with school. And I am working very hard to build a career doing something that I love. And I own a house. And a car. And we go on vacations and play board games. And we are a normal family. Well…as normal as a family can be.

And I am saying this because every young girl who has a baby out there? They need to hear these stories. The stories of successful young parenting. Because these stories? They matter.