Archive for parenting
On Being a Mom.
Posted by: | CommentsMotherhood was very hard for me in the beginning. Mostly because I was young and wasn’t ready to admit that I wasn’t good at any of the stuff that mothers are supposed to be good at. I tried to fake it but…yeah…
I can’t cook. I burn cookies and over season everything. Well I over season the stuff that I even cook long enough so that it is fully cooked.
I can’t sew. I cant craft because I have no coordination. I can’t knit because I have texture issues that leave me wanting to curl into fetal position and die everytime I feel yarn. Or cotton. Or felt. {{shudder}}
I can clean. But I really don’t have a desire to. I have no problem moving trash and random pieces of clothing out of the way to find the drivers seat of my car. I don’t mind tripping over stuff to find my bed and I have eaten cereal out of a pot with a measuring cup more times than I will admit. I have learned along the way tricks to keep my house functional. But it was a learning curve.
But my favorite thing about being a mother is none of these things. Shocking right?
My faveorite thing about being a mother is seeing myself in my child.
I was an incredibly difficult child. I didn’t believe in authority figures and fought to have power in situations that I felt powerless in. I would throw myself on the ground in the middle of grocery stores. I would bang my head on the hard floors and scream until my mother would either give in or drag me to the front of the store. I was sassy and bossy and would fight tooth and nail for the upper hand. Send me to my room? Fine. I would lie on my bed and kick the wall. clunk. clunk. clunk. clunk. for minutes or hours depending on how long you left me there.
Aiden is much more chill than I was as a child. Thank God.
But as an adult I have a whole other set of lovely features. I have personal space issues. I only want to be touched or sat close to if I initiate it. Meaning if you hug me and I wasn’t expecting it my body will turn stiff as a board. I don’t like to talk during car rides. I like to be in control of situations and I need a schedule and plan and details and step by steps for everything. (Including nights when you are going out with your friends and going with the flow is the cool thing to do)
Aiden is much more like me as an adult.
He pitter patters into my room every morning and asks me to snuggle him. He curls up with me when he is cold or sad or bored. But if I I dare try to sneak a hug when he isn’t expecting it? Stiff as a board. And if I dare try to talk to him while I am driving? He requests that I turn the music up. And God forbid I try and take him somewhere without giving him the run down of where we are going and with who and for how long and what is going to happen there? There are many questions asked.
I see myself shine through him and I feel like I know what he is thinking and feeling most of the time. I see him struggling for power when he is clearly defeated. I see him wanting to know what is next when that is impossible. I see myself and I feel my feelings over again through watching him.
I can’t cook or craft or clean but I love being a mom.
I rarely plug this blog with mentions of clients because I know that readers don’t really enjoy that. Right now P&G is working with the Special Olympics as part of the Thank You Mom campaign. Out of all of the campaign that I have had a chance to work on this is one of my favorites. For everyone that “Likes” their fan page P&G will donate $1 to support the USA’s Special Olympics’ team journey to Athens—up to $250,000 above their other contribution. The most exciting thing about this fan page is the conversations happening on the wall. Stories are being shared from other mothers and mothers are being thanked for their sacrifices.
I mentioned it above but just in case the FTC has any question. P&G is a client of DeVries for which I am employed.
Quick Rant: Single Parenting and Expectations
Posted by: | CommentsI am so tired of stereotypical assumptions about parents. I see them all of the time, throw a miniature fit and move on.
Quick example.
I am scrolling through HARO this afternoon and come across this request:
“Are you a single mom who is the ultimate caretaker and homemaker?
Do you practically work around the clock, taking care of all your
kids’ needs, managing the house, and juggling multiple
responsibilities? Would you give anything just to have one day
off, and have zero responsibilities? Do friends or family tease
you about being tired and rundown and have no clue how hard and
how challenging your days really are? Does it seem impossible for
you to get a break even for an hour? If it’s been months or even
years since you’ve taken some time away from your kids to indulge
in some ‘you’ time, we want to hear from you!”
Seems fair enough. I continue scrolling and come across this next request:
“Looking for single dads in the Chicago area. Someone who is doing
his best to raise his child(ren) Could be a dad that lost his
wife, a divorced dad, or dad that never got married but made the
commitment to raise his child(ren) by himself.”
Why is it that we are only interested in praising single moms who work around the clock and look frazzled because they work so hard but we are willing to praise any single dad who is “doing his best?” This isn’t just a rant defending women but one that is defending men. We discuss co-parenting and equal rights for men and women but we still have sub-par expectations for how well a man could possibly parent? Why aren’t we looking for the single dads who are the ultimate caretakers and dedicate their lives to their children? Why aren’t we looking for single moms who are “doing their best?”
Comments welcome.
