Cassie Boorn

Each week Aiden goes to his fathers house. Each week I miss him.

The hardest part of being a single mother is the silence. The silence that fills the room when they are gone. It is awkward at first. Sometimes I am not sure what to do with myself. Where to sit. What to think about. I am out of place.

I wonder if he wonders what I do when he is gone.

Part of me hopes he does. Most of me hopes he doesn’t.

Regardless of how quiet it gets. How lonely the house seems. How hard it is to let go for those few days a week. You have to do it.

He has to see that his daddy can do amazing things too. He needs to feel love from all angles. So, I cope. I play loud music. I dance. I soak up the silence.

I work hard to feel the light.

I became a mother very young. I remember holding my newborn and watching my friends get ready to go out for the night. I remember them putting on their makeup and dolling themselves up with makeup while I dreamed of the day I could shower again.

At some point in the past years things have changed. I no longer watched my friends being young in envy. I became content in the security and love that filled my life.

It is Friday night. I am sure many of my friends are getting ready to head out on the town. Do you know where I am?

I am baking cookies with a pretty happy little boy.

and there is nothing you could say to convince me that being young and wild is better than this.

This is the best Friday night I have had in a long time.

And chocolate chip cookies are the perfect ending to a day stuck in bed with the flu.