Archive for Career
On Facing Your Fears.
Posted by: | CommentsI am scared of a lot of things.
Most notably I am scared of big crowds of people staring at me. Actually, if we are going to be honest here, they don’t even really have to be staring at me. If I walk into a big room full of people I will just assume they are staring at me and they must be talking about me and they must hate me and the next thing you know I am ordering a glass of wine and taking deep breaths while simultaneously hiding in the corner.
A while back I self-diagnosed myself with anxiety. I had to self-diagnose myself because once I went to the doctor to tell him how I was feeling and it went like this: “Things are going great! Life is wonderful, the sun is shining, the world is so fantastic. I love life!”
Well, not exactly that but you get the point. My doctor made me nervous so I basically made an appointment to tell him how wonderful my life is.
Why am I bringing all of this up?
A couple of weeks ago I spoke in front of a group of fifty or so people. I was PETRIFIED. Last summer I spoke at the 140 Conference in Des Moines and as soon as I walked in front of the crowd I felt panicked. I never posted about the experience because it was so terrible. I was THE worst public speaker ever. Just to show you I am going to link to the video I have never watched.
Where was I…
Oh yes, a few weeks ago I spoke in front of a crowd of fifty or so people. I was PETRIFIED. In fact, I spent the two weeks before my presentation telling everyone I know how there was no way I could get in front of these people. They were going to hate me and possibly throw tomatoes at me. Because I have good encouraging friends they kept telling me how great I was going to be and giving me tips. (except for one of them who had bets going that I was going to be in fetal position under a table)
I spent about a month practicing and imagining myself standing in front of everyone. I arrived early and spent the hour drive to the event repeating to myself everything I was great at and recalling all of the moments in my life that I felt like a total rock-star. I talked to people as they came in and learned that the crowd of people I was speaking to was SO. NICE. I did my thing and got through my presentation in the perfect amount of time. Everyone was so kind and I didn’t for a second feel panicked or consider crawling under a table and hiding. (Ok, maybe for a second but then that moment was over)
After my presentation I received three more speaking opportunities from people who were at the event. Three! Which can only mean one thing…they really liked me!
The point of this post is to face your fears.
Whatever you want to do that you are to scared to do? I am giving you permission to do it. Go. What is the worst that could happen?
Also? my dear friend and mentor Alli posted about mentoring me over at Babble.
To email or not to email? That is the question.
Posted by: | CommentsI have a tendency to over-think things.
I never realized how much I read into things until this past year. In a candid conversation with a friend I translated all of the things he said to me and what I actually heard. Following this conversation he referred to me as slightly neurotic and I really can’t argue with that.
A few weeks ago I was reading about the way people communicate in emails and it got me thinking…
I grew up with the internet.
The first time I flirted with a boy? Yahoo chat rooms. (Go ahead, judge me) The first time I got asked out on a date? MSN messenger. How did I make plans with friends on the weekend? AIM. I grew up learning how to read virtual body language and taking social cues from the way people wrote, the speed of response and the length of response. Picture me, at the age of fourteen, hunched over my computer trying to figure out if that well placed “….” was a cue for me to say something smart, or if I had confused them, or if they were nervous, or what the hell “….” was supposed to mean.
When I started using the internet for professional reasons I began communicating with people from different generations. Meaning that many of these people didn’t grow up on MSN messenger and weren’t emailing when they were fifteen years old and their style of communicating through text was incredibly different from mine.
So I spent my days trying to decide if their shortened response was because they were annoyed, or busy or if they just hated emailing. I have spent far too much time stressing over whether or not their strategically placed exclamation mark was a sign of excitement or anger.
Needless to say I have been fascinated with the way that people communicate online for far too long. Which makes me wonder how much the way we communicate via email and IM will change as new generations enter the workforce? Studies show that Gen Z will take communicating via instant messenger over email any day, which makes me wonder how inter-office communication will evolve in the next decade.
What do you think?
How do you approach virtual body language?
Do you stress over the way you respond to emails and the responses you receive?
Am I the only one?
