This one went much smoother than the last video of me speaking.

BIG thanks to Claire and Pete for inviting me to present.  And special thanks to Dietz Media for making a video of me speaking that I finally love.

If you are looking for a speaker for your event, talk to me.

But it was Mother’s Day.

So, instead you get a picture of Aiden and I from Easter.

I hope everyone had as good a Mother’s Day as I did.

Now, go watch this. (client)

So much stuff that this blog post is going to be a list of things I want you to know right now.

There will be no lengthy prose.

There will be no dramatically crafted words.

There might not even be beautiful pictures.

Just a list.

Here is goes.

If you are in the Chicago area, I will be speaking here.  I will be talking about Facebook and how it changes your identity. I will be gettin all Philosophical up in this joint. Come see me?

If you are in the Quad City area, I will be speaking here. I am talking about Social Media for Small Business…well kind of. I love speaking at local events and I am especially excited to be part of this one.

Many of you aren’t in the Chicago or Quad City area and I thought you might be a little sad you can’t hear me speak as well. SO, Jessica and I are hosting a live e-course on the business of blogging. The first half will teach you everything you need to know about working with brands. The second half will be a hands on workshop in which you will create a full sponsorship deck. You can sign up here and learn more about it here.

I wrote a whole bunch of stuff over at She Posts last week.

I talked about an amazing project that one of my favorite friends just launched. If you are looking for a Mother’s Day idea, here is is.   I also wrote about the Digital Family Summit, the first blogging conference for teens and tweens. Fun, right?

I am going to LA this weekend to hang out with Jessica and attend the Lucky Fabb conference.

I am also renting a car for the first time ever.

Big steps my friends, big steps.

Go check out the most adorable pregnant friend of mine you’ve ever seen and her new site.

And then read this.

What have you been up to?

One day at a time, I suppose.

And then I am at the bar surrounded by people who have surrounded me my whole life and they are rambling about politics and work/life balance and if I had the energy I would tell them how much I disagreed with everything they were saying.

I would tell them that they were wrong.

But it is almost midnight and my mind is running on empty. Or maybe it is because I have had enough beers to not care about how wrong they are.

You can’t change everyone, I suppose.

I catch myself in the mirror and I am surprised at the ghostly color of my skin. I notice a few small lines running down my chest that will one day turn into wrinkles that I will think about getting botoxed. Lines from the years I laid in tanning beds avoiding the color reflecting back at me. But, friends get cancer and shit gets real and tanning beds begin to seem like a wacky science experiment and you start to wonder in what universe they seemed like a good idea.

And I wonder what other things I will cast aside and look back and laugh about. The childish things I will do now, when I can still get away with childish things and where that line is when you have to cast away your glitter tops and drunken dancing for business suits and cars that aren’t lime green.

And I wonder if I will miss that line entirely and be the crazy aunt in the corner with her sequins top and over processed blonde hair, and I think I might be ok with that.

Ok with never growing up.

Ok with staying childish and keeping sparkly gold glitter glue and Dr. Seuss greeting cards in the drawers of my desk.

I have a box in my house filled with those stories, those moments, those secrets. I have never been able to bring myself to read those moments.

To go back.

To re-live that time.

I have spent the past year and a half trying to figure out how to write a book on the project that I started so long ago. I felt like I needed to weave my stories into your stories and make some cohesive message. So I pushed myself to write about things I didn’t want to write about. To share parts of my life that you won’t find in the archives of this blog regardless of how deep you dig.

I hired a writing coach and I sent these pages over to her. She read the proposal and then she read my blog and she gave me some insight that changed everything.
When she read my blog she found this young single mom living in the middle of nowhere who had it “going on” working for a PR agency in New York When she read my proposal my voice didn’t match who I was online.

My voice seemed forced.

It seemed hesitant.

I have always felt guilty for not sharing my whole life on this blog. In a world where transparency is the key to life I am about as transparent as a brick wall. I would try and write the stories I felt I needed to share, the stories the world might need to hear, the stories that would prove once and for all that I wasn’t the girl you thought I was.

I have been walking around thinking that I wasn’t the girl you thought I was.
Waiting for the moment when you pulled the curtains open to reveal that I was simply an actor playing the part without a single notion that I actually knew what I was doing.
The thing is, I DO know what I am doing. And just because I haven’t always known and there are things that I don’t share in this online space, that doesn’t mean I am hiding.

In the past three years my life has changed dramatically. I have achieved things I never imagined achieving and I have been trying to figure out how to deal with it. How do I make sense of all of this good when things were so bad for so long?
I can make sense out of it now because the people we used to be don’t own the people we are.

“Are you on Foursquare? Do you use Foursquare? Why don’t you use Foursquare more?”

So this year I made it my goal to use Foursquare more.

Where did I go this weekend?

I’m glad you asked.

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When I cross over into a new decade of my life, I do a personal assessment:

• Have I accomplished all I thought I would by this age?
• Am I where I thought I would be – or should be?
• Where do I want to be at the end of this coming decade?

Since I began doing this exercise in my 30^th year of life and have done so when I turned 40 and then again this past year when I turned 50, it has led to tremendous changes in my life.

It led to a promotion in the first case, to me changing careers in the next decade and moved me to run for Congress in this past year.

Pretty major life-changing events.

Now that I am three decades past my 20-year-old self, and presumably 30 years smarter, more seasoned and better ready to take on my next 30 years, here is what I would tell that younger version of who I am today. Consider it overall advice that would never steer my 20-year-old self – or any 20-year-old for that matter – wrong:

1. Do what you love. If you’re not doing what you love, keep searching for whatever that may be.
2. And do it with people you admire, enjoy being around, can learn from and who respect you.
3. Be appreciative. None of us, not a single one of us, anywhere, anyhow get anywhere without the help of others.
4. Be there. In the moment. Pay attention to the one you’re with. To do otherwise, is rude (and –bonus advice — don’t ever be rude.)
5. No matter where you are or who you are with, you are no better, nor any worse, than anyone else. Don’t act like you are. Be nice to everyone around you. Say their name when you see them. Smile when you see them. It’s not that hard, and it will help lead toward your success. Really.
6. Say yes to opportunities that scare you. It’s another way of saying take risks in your career and in your life – all that are legal, ethical and have the potential of making you better. This is a tough one, but it can make all the difference in your life.
7. Don’t be so darn self-conscious. Sure, others may judge you. But if you want to say something nice to someone, but wonder how they’ll take it, say it anyway.

OK, this list of seven could include so many others. The typical be honest, work hard etc. But at age 20, you should already know about all of those. They go without saying.

Now, go live your next decade, and the one after that and after that and after that by following this note and in a way that you will love life, love yourself, love those around you… and all the while be doing something great.

Cheri Bustos of East Moline, Illinois, is a former reporter, investigative journalist, newspaper editor, health care executive and is currently running for Congress as a Democrat in the 17^th District of Illinois. She is married and has three sons, a grandson and two dogs. 

Not really MY twenties but more what it means to be in your twenties and what this decade is really all about.

I started working on my book again which is what prompted all of this reflecting on my twenties stuff. It seems that every time I decide there is no way I am going to write a book EVER. I find myself hunched over my computer pouring my stories out. Go figure?

I used to think that your twenties were about having fun. I mean, what is this decade for if it isn’t about dancing on tables and making a fool of yourself? And then I realized that your twenties might actually be about learning.

One time a good friend told me that you should think of ever job opportunity as a free education. You should consider what the position will teach you and who you will be learning from. I kind of blew that advice off at the time but now I realize that not only was she right but that the same principal might just apply to life.

Think of every life experience as a free education. What will you learn? Who are you learning from?

It isn’t as much fun to think of life that way. Mostly because I think I have spent the past four years taking the same three classes over again. Just when I think I have found the answer I realize the semester is over and I am back at zero.

I am taking this metaphor too far, aren’t I?

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I got to meet one of my favorite writers. She and her daughter are writing a book about twenty-something’s, focusing on the many decisions that must be made during this decade. She has a fascinating view on twenty-somethings that you can read more about here.

They are trying to get a sense of how Milennials experience their twenties by sending out a questionnaire asking for details about your life, how you know you’re an adult, and what your plans are for the future. If you are interested you can email them at cusp.the.book@gmail.com and they will send you the questionnaire.

(responses can be anonymous)

Thanks to Duncan Hines for sponsoring my writing. There’s no limit to the baking possibilities, so grab your favorite Duncan Hines mix and Comstock or Wilderness fruit fillings and Bake On! www.duncanhines.com.

The most interesting thing about being in your twenties is how quickly things change. At age twenty you are in college and probably eating greasy pizza on a dorm room floor. By then end of your twenties you probably have a career and possibly a husband and maybe even a couple of children. (aka you are a grown-up)

Currently I am right in the middle.

In the past year I have watched friends get married, have babies, buy houses, have second babies, get engaged, move across the country and make terrible and wonderful decisions. Everyone seems to be settling down and “girls night out” seems less important to everyone involved.

It used to be essential that you had plans every Friday and every Saturday.

Making plans for the weekend mattered. A lot.

Now, I find myself calling a friend because I realize I have forty-five minutes of free-time after my trip to the grocery store. So we sit on couches and catch up while the frozen food in my car becomes less frozen. We are usually wearing pajamas and my hair is thrown up on top of my head but it doesn’t really matter.

That is what I have learned in my twenty-fourth year.

It doesnt really matter what you are doing with your friends, it is the time that you spend together. The understanding that they are there for you no matter what.

I am afraid as time starts moving faster and our days get even busier that we might lose these moments.

A while back I went to Camp Mighty and heard Evany talk about building a better life. She said that if you surround yourself with awesome people then there will always be awesome things to do. So that is my goal this year and my challenge for you–surround yourself with awesome people, prepare yourself for awesome moments and fill your life with the things that matter.

Call your best friend on the way to the grocery store. Bake cupcakes and invite your neighbors over. Create a party in your living room just because you can.

Girls night in doesn’t have to be about planning the perfect party. It doesn’t have to be about playing Boggle and making elegant desserts. Girls night in can consist of sweatpants, ponytails and cupcakes and it still won’t lose its magic.

Remember to check out Duncan Hines’ website www.duncanhines.com to find some great recipes for your holiday get-together! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.

You see I couldn’t just have normal friends like the rest of the world I had to make friends that graduated college and then took off across the country to spend a year building compost bins and working with children. It is friends like these that don’t have access to Facebook everyday, can’t check email and are too busy to sit on the phone with me for hours at a time catching up.

So what’s a girl to do?

She is to send snail mail that’s what! (much more efficient than smoke signals) I have fallen in LOVE with picking out funny cards and small things to send. When I was at BlogHer this year I saw that Hallmark had a suite and I heard through the grapevine that you could mail cards DIRECTLY. FROM. THERE. I couldn’t think of a better idea and hiked over there to send a few cards to a few of my favorite friends.

There was one card in particular that I decided was the COOLEST CARD IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. (pardon the terrible pictures)

The front looked like this:

When you opened the card once it said “…my Refrigerator Misses Your Pictures! Want to color this one and send it back to me?”  and when you opened the card a little more there was a big coloring page. Fun!

You see, the friend that I mentioned above? The one that has disconnected herself from all technology? She was an art major and she once turned a My Little Pony coloring book into a rainbow extravaganza. I was so excited! I filled out the card and shipped it off and then this week?

I got this:

All. Colored. In.

I wish that I had a better picture so that you could see the amazing details she added into this card. What is the point of this story? The point is that a simple card  made my entire day. That for a moment this weekend I got a surprise. It wasn’t just about the card but about the feeling of getting something un-expected from someone you love.

I want to thank Hallmark for making my Saturday.

In celebration of happy surprises I want to surprise one of you! So leave a comment and I will choose one or three or five of you and mail you a card of your own. Because sometimes it is those little surprises that matter the most.

Dear FTC, Hallmark did not compensate me for this post. If fact, they might not even know I wrote it.