When I was young New Years was pretty irrelevant. Aside from running out in search of the perfect outfit and scouting out the best parties for the evening it was just another night. There was nothing really to mark the year by.  I marked my year by the friends that I kept, the grade that I was in, love interests and the parties that I frequented. There was nothing defining about these years. They passed by day by day night by night as songs played in the background that would later pull me back into these memories in attempts to cling on to childness.

Once I had Aiden I marked the years by his age. In 2005 I was pregnant. In 2006 I had a one year old. I watched as he aged and I allowed his age to mark the year before me. His age distinguished one year from the next and one phase from the last.

Something happened in the past couple of years and things began to change. Last year, I quit my job, started working from home, moved to a city an hour away, said goodbye as friends moved away. I met new people, traveled, wrote, managed a website and grew. Everything changed.

There was nothing to mark the year by except that it was the year that everything changed.

But then this year began and everything changed once more. I bought a house, graduated college, landed my dream job, was featured in national publications. I signed with a book agent, let go of toxic friendships, strengthened friendships that had begun to weaken, and met new people. I traveled around the country, fell in love with politics, I changed. And I had a four-year old.

Once again, this was the year that everything changed.

It makes me wonder what I will be looking back at next year. If everything will change once more and I will find myself in yet another place in life. It makes me want to cling on to where I am but it also makes me not want to hold on too tightly. I am curious when the day will come when things stop changing. When I can mark my years with songs and parties or the age of my child or the place that I live.

I crave simplicity.