“Life isn’t fair.” and “No.” being two of them.

She always had a way of saying just the thing that made me want to throw hard objects. Ten years later and I realized that most of the things she said? They were right. (Note: I said most) Now I find myself repeating these same phrases to my child knowing that he wants to throw hard objects at me and that one day he will say these things too.

As I got older I found that other people knew how to say just the thing to get under my skin.

Last night I spoke to a group of people that are  just about to graduate college. They are about to be handed a degree and pushed into the world scared stiff that they won’t have a job when they leave. I told them my story of finding a job and gave them tips based on things that I did and the things that I have seen. I talked about the changing workforce and how the way you find jobs has significantly changed. I tried to give them advice that not everyone else has given them.

I remember being deathly afraid that I would be un-employed forever. Not that I didn’t have skills but that noone would hire me. I was paralyzed with fear.

It was in these times that people would talk about certain things that would make me want to punch them in the face. (Metaphorically of course)

People would talk about how they found their job. How things kind of fell into place and one thing led to another and suddenly they were living their dream. I still roll my eyes and kind of want to gag when I hear these stories. Really? It all just fell into place? And then my fearful college mind would spin out of control. ThatIsNeverGoingToHappenToMeAndNooneWantsToHireMe. OHMYGODIMGOINGTOBEHOMELSS.

And then people would talk about working from home and the challenges that come with working from home. It was then that I would imagine them in their pajams on conference calls and I instantly wanted to kick them in their shins for complaining.

(note: I am not normally this violent. It was the fear of being homeless ok?)

And then last night they were asking me questions about how I got into the field I am in. They were asking more questions about my job. And I heard myself tell this story about how it all fell into place. How I wasn’t looking to turn anything in social media into a career when I started and it just happened. I talked about meeting my boss and bumping into her at a conference and re-introducing myself to her and landing an internship. And as I was telling this story I realized that I was telling the same kind of story that used to make me want to punch people in the face. (metaphorically)

And then I made a comment about the challenges of working from home.

It was one of those moments when you see the world full circle and you realized that you turned into everything that you once hated.

But here is the deal?

Things will fall into place.

Look for the job. Keep working on the things you love. Find opportunities doing the things that you love because most of the time if you love doing something you are really good at it. Show people the things that you have done and find people who are doing what you want to be doing.

This post just got reeeal hippy dippy.

{I will be recapping my talk last night shortly. Stay Tuned.}

When I had Aiden I was going to school full time at a junior college and working evenings at the local Pizza Hut. After bringing my tiny child into our home I rushed to the computer to let my professors know my homework would be late. It would be late because I had a baby.

It is a little funny now. Looking back…

Seeing how young I was. How naive. Remembering the confusion that was pulsating through me.

I think back to the time that Aiden was just growing out of his infant car seat. We needed a new one and I had no money. I was so ashamed. I couldn’t give him something so simple. Something so in-expensive. I had to ask for help. I am not good at asking for help. And I am not sure that I will ever forget that moment.

Being a young mother brings on so many adventures. So many humbling moments.

I will graduate college next December. I have taken major steps in my career. I was mentioned in the New York Times. I have traveled all around the country. I have collected stories and letters from women around the world. I have raised a brilliant young man to the ripe age of four. And soon I will be moving into a house.

I never thought that I would get here.

I never imagined things would move so quickly.

I kind of wish that I would have reveled in those moments a little more. The times when I was un-sure that things were going to be ok. I worried through them so often. Now I giggle thinking back seeing how things have turned out.

I think I am going be ok.

The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was yourself. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.

-Derek Wallcott

They have inspired the way that I parent my child, the way that I feel about myself, the career path that I have taken, and my faith. They have shared stories and tips. They have given advice and listened as I begged for it.

Your 20′s can be a confusing time. To say the least.

A while ago I joined a group called the “20 something bloggers.” I dug through their blogs listening to stories and questions. And I realized I am not the only confused 20 year old on the planet. However, I may have aquired the best support team any 22 year old could ask for.

So, today I am asking you to share your wisdom. Tell your stories to all of the “20 something” girls out there who are walking around lost.

I am asking your to write a letter to your 20 year old self. Share the things that you questioned at 20 that you no longer questioned. Share your wisdom and advice. Give some guidance to another generation.

Since, I couldn’t figure out mister linky there are 3 options:

-Link to your letter in the comments

-Share your letter in the comments

-E-mail your letter to me and I will post it up

*There is no prize for the best letter. No contest. No prizing. This is simply a collection.

**I am leaving this up for a week. So, you have time :)

And now begins a new chapter…

I am super excited to announce that today I begin a permanent position at DeVries as the social media coordinator. I couldn’t be more excited. (no seriously, I couldn’t be more excited).

More to come…

I just had to share my news!!

‘“Collaboration” in the modern office means a lot more than just exchanging e-mail. Recently, we told you how to microblog within your organization to enhance productivity, and it’s not surprising that companies are discovering the power of sharing documents, collaborating online, and keeping a rich web of easily searched and browsed information in the cloud.

Looking to join the action? Here’s a free collaboration tool you should check out.

Flowr is an online collaboration tool with a wealth of ways to share and interact. You get Twitter-like microblogging, of course, so team members can stay in touch and up-to-date. It has the best aspects of Twitter without the sill”

Read more here…

Read more…

“The way I understand it is that we rob ourselves of being in the present by always thinking that the payoff will happen in the future.”

Pema Chödrön & bell hooks talk over life and all its problems
—from the Shambhala Sun magazine

Initially when I enter the classroom, I share with my students that we are there to think critically—to engage the world we live in—the world of ideas, fully, deeply, with our whole heart. Pema Chödrön’s work gives me this gift. Consistently she challenges me to think beyond someplace where I have erected boundaries—where I’ve allowed myself to become stuck—attached—full of defences.

When I first read her, the writing irked me. I was disturbed by what I began to call its “strategic open-endedness.” I wanted to be offered solutions, ways out. Instead, she kept extending an invitation to me and everyone to move into that enchanted space beyond right or wrong—to journey to the heart of compassion. And when you have stepped out on faith, straight into the heart of the matter, loving kindness appears less like a utopian dream. It becomes concrete—a place to practice wherever you are.

Read the rest here…

I was reading a post this morning about being more productive. (as I often do) The first suggestion was to look at your day and figure out what was taking the MOST time from you. Of course following that suggestion was that we should find a way to down size the time spent on that activity. This of course got me thinking….where does my time go?

I spend about an hour total checking and responding to email. (but I love email)

I spend about twenty minuets everyday re-adjusting the tv so that Aiden can play Wii and then watch a movie and then play the Wii again….so on and so on…
(but he loves the Wii)

I spent an hour this morning trying to make a basket on Aidens mini-basketball game. (but he LOVED that)

It takes me an hour every morning to do my hair…put on make-up.

A shower sucks a good 30 minuets of my time. (Do I really have to downsize my shower time?)

I know, I know he was suggesting ways to be more productive at work. If you are having time fitting everything into your day and you want to adjust you schedule to change this than do so. If you are having trouble fitting everything in your day but you really LOVE your day forget about it. If I don’t do something I want to do in order to accomplish more I feel deprived, agitated, and distracted. Which means that LESS gets done.

I suggest looking at your day and how you are spending it. Maybe you spend too much time on Twitter but if you are happy? The stuff will get done.

The Hard Truths About Building Your Own Success

This post is filled with so much wisdom. I often forget to be present and trust in myself. Always learning.

“Have you noticed that society often looks at successful people in hopes of somehow copying their magic formula? I know I have done this and fallen into the trap – the trap of thinking, praying even, that there is one magic solution for success and that it can be replicated by anyone with enough sheer will and desire. Clearly this is not true.

I don’t want to miscommunicate here; of course it makes sense to learn lessons from people who have achieved the goals we want. They did something right and some of their ingredients may indeed work in your success recipe too. As Tony Robbins says: “Success leaves clues”.

Clues however are not the entire story and as mentioned above, this is your success plan. Realizing this and taking full responsibility for yourself makes a huge difference. Look at you, your desires, your abilities, and with that, your chances of actually being successful increase substantially.

Here are some key realizations that I believe you should consider along your path to success. Take one, or a few, and if they are counter to your current beliefs debate yourself on how this view impacts your plan.”

Read the rest here…