Cassie Boorn

A Letter to Your 40 Year Old Self From Katie

cassie — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:11:42 +0000

I will admit it that this week I am a failed blogger. Forgive me. I know that I am all sorts of off track. But I have a pretty new design thanks to this amazing lady.

I have a special treat for you today.

Most of my friends mock my obsession with blogging. And when I say mock I mean it in the most loving of ways. Lets just say that “you better not blog about this” is mentioned at every party followed by ten girls breaking into a fit of the giggles.

All of my friend except one. We met in a highschool Algebra class and we are about as opposite as two girls can be. Somehow she has adapted to the fact that I will never sport a clean car (or house) and I have accepted the fact that a trip to TJ Max with her is going to take at least four hours. As she carefully inspects every item she finds for defects. It is a give and take relationship to say the least.

I was so excited when she offered to write a letter to her forty year old self. This girl is creative to the max, but I had no idea the funny she had stored up in that little mind of hers.

Be sure and check out her newly started blog. Happy Friday!

Dear Katie,

Wow. You’re old. I can’t even imagine being in my 40s. The thought of what you look like right now is slightly stressing me out. Perhaps I should have started a nightly facial regimen when I was in college, although I suppose many of those nights I would have been too inebriated to worry about it. I guess all that time I wasted in the tanning beds didn’t help much either. What can I say, I was never able to accept the fact that I am naturally pale. Have I accepted it at 40?

Enough with all that appearance nonsense, how IS my life? Did it end up like I always wanted, with a rich husband who buys me fancy thing and doesn’t make me hold a job? I hope you picked a good one this time. You have a track record for choosing guys who don’t treat you right, or take you for granted. Please don’t make me venture to the future to kick your ass for marrying a loser. You know I could do it, too. You’re old now, remember. So, do I have any kids? How about a Gunner? You know I’ve always said I was naming my first born boy that. With this dominant red hair, I’m sure at least one of them got it. Don’t forget to tell them that someday they will appreciate it. It took you a long time to, but you finally came around and realized that it’s pretty. Speaking of pretty…have you realized that you are yet? By 40 I’m hoping that all my insecurities have passed, and you worry more about the important things in life.

So tell me, after college, did I ever get a job? It’s been on my mind constantly, and I can’t help but fear I won’t be able to find something. Or I won’t be good enough…or that I will fail. If you get this letter, I guess that means I didn’t, though. Something must have came out of my life…and my college experience. I hope right now you are sitting in front of your favorite over-stuffed chair thats nestled under a vaulted ceiling. I hope you kicked off your designer shoes and are pouring over the newest Mac computer, reading this letter has been tossed into the cyber-future. Oh I wish I could see that…mmmm. Here I sit now, in a crappy college apartment, barefoot, with the only man in my life snoring at my feet. Stouffer, of course. All the times you Googled (wait…do you still use Google?) “bulldog puppies” finally paid off when you bought him. Even though people thought you were crazy for paying THAT MUCH for a dog, you knew it wasn’t a waste. He was always there when you needed a friend, or felt alone, and nothing can compare to his loyalty. I know he is gone now, but I just hope he lived a long, happy life. I’m tearing up just thinking about the day he leaves us…are you?

I hope mom and dad are doing alright, even if they aren’t together anymore. I wonder if mom ever adjusted to the move out west, or if the tension between them finally led to their divorce. I hope they are healthy…I hope they are still living to see their grandchildren. Please make sure to take your children to see them as often as possible. Make sure the bonds between grandparent and child are strong. I will always regret not spending enough time with grandparents. Now..what about that brother of mine? I hope we stayed close over the years. I know that going to college together made us closer than we ever were, and it’s unsettling to think distance or a new life would have messed with that. Make sure to call him all the time. He worries so much, and he needs to feel like people in his life care about him. And please Katie…make an effort to get along with his wife. I know you don’t think she’s good enough for him, and maybe she’s not, but he loves her, and you need to support that.

Well you old lady, I think that’s about it. I have a million other things to ask you, but I guess life is a waiting game. I’m sure I could think of other advice to give you…but let’s face it- you HATE being told what to do.

See you in 20-some years!

-The “fresher” you.

Fast Food, Fresh Fruit, and Nostalgia.

cassie — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:58:44 +0000

I think about food a lot. Not just because I love it, but because it interests me. I watch the way that people eat. The foods that they choose to eat. And why they choose to eat the things that they eat the way in which they eat them.

That was a mouthful.

Food has a certain nostalgia that comes along with it. Movies depict this best, you hear people talk about their grandmothers chicken soup. They drift back to childhood thinking of their mothers pot roast. A simple dish can in a sense “bring you back” to that moment.

My generation is a little different. Our food memories are a little different. I remember my dad pulling up to McDonalds and buying me a happy meal “only if I was happy.” I remember my mom taking me to Dairy Queen where we would share M&M blizzards and sometimes chocolate dip cones. I remember hanging out at pizza hut after football games with my friends. All of my food memories. All of that nostalgia. All of it is fast food, frozen food, or processed food.

Yummy.

This never even occurred to me until I started blogging. Until I got a chance to watch the way people lived. The way that people lived so. very. differently.

I visited Jessica Gottlieb once and we were sitting at her counter chatting away as her children ran inside from soccer practice. As you can imagine they were STARVING! I watched in dis-belief as Jessica sliced up oranges and cucumbers. She pulled out a pineapple and searched the cupboards for some more natural treats. I sat there thinking there is NO way that these children are going to eat this stuff and be satisfied. Soon enough they were hovered over the counter. Smiling faces and sticky fingered. They were asking for some more orange slices and a few more pieces of cucumber. I couldn’t believe it.

We assume that children don’t like fruit and vegetables. We assume they crave fast food and the only way to make them happy is through happy meals. I bet that assumption makes fast food companies very happy. And very profitable.

I see Sara Sophia sharing pictures of picnics on their front lawn. I have spotted her sporting a bowl of homemade sweet potatoes chips. I have watched her turn a normal family dinner into a party filled with hats, tea cups, and organic foods.

These children that are placed in to our care are going to have memories. Some may have memories of delicious fruit after a soccer game. Some will have memories of grocery shopping with their mother and learning how to choose the perfect eggs. Some are going to remember the joy of cooking and picnics. How much fun came with meals. How choosing your food really matters. And some? Are going to remember the drive thru.

What are your children going to remember? What is my child going to remember?

Trust me, I get it. I am not saying we never go to McDonalds. I am not saying we never grace the booth of a Pizza Hut. As soon as we see those golden arches on the side of the road my son is yelling out pleas for Chicken Nuggets. It is hard to say no. It is hard to choose the good stuff. It is hard because many of us never learned how to do it.

But I am trying. I am trying to find a balance. I want him to remember the good stuff. I want him to think back to baking cookies together. I want him to remember fresh veggies and fruit. I want him to know that choosing what you eat matters. I don’t want his memories to be owned by the fast food industry.

A letter to my 20 something self: Eilis

cassie — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 03:29:27 +0000

I wish I could give the introduction this letter deserves. However, I was supposed to have this letter up this morning. As you can see this day has been a little crazy. Big stuff is happening. Good stuff is happening. And this letter you are about to read? Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

Dear 20-something Eilis,

Hey girl. It’s been awhile, but actually, I’ve been thinking of you and missing you a lot lately. I think I’ve just been reminiscing about you and life at your age and have been thinking about how much has changed. Sometimes I find myself going along with my daily business and just feeling…happy. I stop what I’m doing and wait to see if that old heaviness in my heart will be there, but it’s gone. Can you believe it? I know you know that heaviness. I know you think it will always be there and you want to punch the next person that tells you “everything will work out the way it’s supposed to,” but I’m here to say that you need to have faith in that. I think you sort of do, but I know it doesn’t help the heaviness. I also need to let you know that the horrible heartbreak that you go through when you are 23 ends up being the beginning of the rest of your life. It hurts like hell and trying to get over it is a nightmare, but you totally get over it. You don’t forget it, but the hurt is gone. And you learn SO MUCH from it. You learn all about who you are and what you want and deserve in life. You don’t deserve to be treated like that and you learn that you can lose yourself, and I’m here to say that you’ll never let it happen to you again, even though I know you’re scared you will.

You know what other annoying saying turns out to be true? “You’ll find someone when you least expect it.” You’re going to make a big decision when you are 25, a decision to move away. Stick with your gut on that one, girl. It leads you to a place you’ve always dreamed of but never thought you’d find. It leads you to a man you never knew REALLY existed. He’s kind and funny and loving. He lets you snuggle whenever you want. He never calls you names. He loves you for who you are, even with your flaws. Keep up with your bowling skills…that helps seal the deal on your first date with him. And you know how you’ve always dreamed of having kids but have this horrible fear that you won’t be able to? Turns out you’re a bit of a Fertile Myrtle, so don’t sweat that one either. And you know how you secretly fear that your kids might be ugly? They are totally adorable, and I’m not just saying that because they’re yours. Other people say it too, so it’s legit.

I’d like to thank you for staying true to yourself and for making it through the tough times and becoming the woman that you are, because I’m totally reaping the benefits. Waking up every day and not feeling sad about anything is such a wonderful feeling. So Kudos, kiddo. We made it to our thirties. Life goals? Accomplished. Sure, there is much more to come, but as far as the dreams you are dreaming right now, in your twenties? They all come true. We are so lucky.

Kisses,

31-year-old Eilis

Letter to my 20 Something Self: Maura

cassie — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 12:14:26 +0000

I was so touched when I received Maura’s letter. As you know I too have a little boy in my twenties. I cannot tell you how often it is a challenge being the youngest mom in the bunch.

I have been a little absent this week. It is our last week of summer classes. :)

Enjoy!

Dear 20 year old Maura,

What a good mom you were to those two little boys. Although there will be a time in your future that you will be less than stellar, you rocked when they were little. Apple picking in your high heeled clogs, pumpkin picking, lazy afternoons at the beach you did them all. You didn’t have much support back then so you went out and found it by joining a mother’s group, you being the youngest mom of the bunch didn’t faze you a bit.

Love yourself more, don’t be so critical of your body, you will actually come to believe in your beauty. Don’t believe the voices in your head that tell you that you are not worthy because you never completed college. You are very smart woman that will do quite all right for herself.

The man you married he was not the “one” but he gave you those two little boys who are the loves of your life. You will meet the “one” who will love you unconditionally and be a wonderful step dad to those boys. He will teach you the power of family something you did not know.

Addiction will get the better of you, but you will turn it around and be a power of example before it is too late. This journey will change you.

Don’t run so fast, smell that salt air and spring lilacs, walk the beach more.

If I could tell you one thing it is that you are worthy.

Love your 41 year old self.

BlogHer Advice Column

cassie — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 12:40:56 +0000

I cannot believe that summer is almost over. I always mourn the end of summer and when I have spent the past month and a half of summer sitting in a class room? I cannot even explain to you how I am feeling right now.

Luckily, I have some excitement coming up!

Raise your hand if you will be at BlogHer….

If you are going to be at BlogHer send me an email or leave me a comment. Because I would LOVE to meet you!

Everyone is always giving advice BlogHer posts. I feel like I should follow suit so here are five things you should do before BlogHer…

1. Create A Plan
There are more parties than I can even catch up with. Thinking that you are just going to show up and follow your way to the parties is a little crazy. Write down an evening schedule. What parties are you going to? What time are they? Where are they located at? Trust me…you will thank me later.

2. Schedule A Nap
I am a people person. I could stand in a room and talk for forty five minuets straight without a breath. I can hug people all day and then go off dancing all night. However, conferences overwhelm even ME! There are so many women and so many emotions flying through the weekend. It is amazing but emotionally tiring. Please take a nap at some point during the day just to refresh. It will make all the difference.

3. Go Shopping
Ok, maybe this has nothing to do with BlogHer but you are in New York for gawsh sakes. You may very well find me frantically trying to pick up the latest styles and rushing like a mad-woman to the checkout. That is what happen when your nearest mall doesn’t carry much more than the Gap…

4. Go See Procter & Gamble
Yes, they are in fact a client. But word on the street is they are doing some pretty cool stuff this year. On top of the fact that they will have cool stuff happening all weekend you will probably find me over in that area. And if I am not enough of a lure in I bet you will be finding Stephanie as well. So come see us!!

5. But Some Really Cute Stilettos
….Just kidding! Seriously, I cannot stress the importance of comfortable shoes enough. There is a lot of walking at BlogHer. Maybe even some running…Find some really comfortable shoes. You can do it. I believe in you.

Please leave a comment if you would like to meet up. OR leave a comment letting me know any questions or advice you would like regarding BlogHer!

Letter to my 20 something self: Marisa

cassie — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 11:48:30 +0000

I have been feeling some changes going on within me for quite some time now. A good friend of mine took my feelings and turned them into words. As she often does.

“I was underneath a bunch of stuff that I’m throwing off, purging left and right and while I was running the other day it was like I saw it all happening, and I passed this bench and envisioned the old me, sitting there and I kept running and it was like, I’m leaving her behind. And it made me so happy.” -Stephanie Precourt

I have been struggling though. It is not as easy as throwing the stuff off and running on. There are things that you don’t want to throw off. Parts of your life you are left clinging to. It is like running a marathon with a backpack on. You know that taking it off would allow you to run faster. It would allow freedom. It would relieve pain. But what if you need your backpack? What if you hold twenty years of memories within that backpack? What if the fear of taking that backpack off is so encompassing that you just keep running backpack and all. I feel a little stuck….

Speaking of running we have a beautiful letter from Marisa.

Dear 20-something Marisa,

Hiya! Here I am, on the other side of our dramatic twenties, and there you are, trying valiantly to avoid any kind of drama. You can’t. It’s okay. Drama is part of life; accept and deal rather than trying to avoid.

While we’re on the subject, stop running from the hard stuff. It will eventually catch up with you and the longer you wait, the harder it will be to find the person you’ve been all along. When you’re scared, turn and run into the fear rather than hiding. It’s easier on the psyche, I swear, and you have the strength to rise to the occasion.

When you do something wrong, apologize immediately. And stop lying. Yes, cold turkey. You will find freedom and peace in not lying, even when the truth is really tough. You are strong enough to handle it.

Be kind to the people who love you. It’s not their fault you’re not quite grown-up yet. Sure, being alone and discovering you’re pretty capable of, well, anything is going to be really amazing for you, but you can do that with anyone. You’re you no matter who you’re around (or at least, you can be).

When you find people who love you, don’t overdo the gratitude. You’ll make a friend who will give you the kind of advice you’ll always remember (“If you feel like you’re too much for your people, you need to find new people.” “The quickest way through the hard stuff is just that — through. The sooner you get started, the more quickly you’ll get through.” “You’re awesome, Mari, just the way you are.”) and seem like he can see your soul. Set your boundaries quickly and make sure they’re this side of acceptable.

Yes, you are doing a fantastic job managing your career. Thank you for that. Keep taking big leaps of faith; soon you’ll get to work for that company you admire. It will be just as wonderful as you imagined.

Last thing: believe. Believe in yourself, believe in the goodness of people, believe that your people love you. You can’t find peace by changing your life; it will come when you grow up, and you will. And even if you screw up (and you will), you’ll get some fantastic second chances. We’re doing really well in our thirties!

With much love and great pride,

Marisa

Weekend Reads.

cassie — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 04:08:05 +0000

Some reading pleasure for your weekend.

Things I’d Like to Tell My Seventeen Year Old Self.

Forty-Three A Certain Age

Please, somebody offer to build me this?

This entire blog makes my heart feel quiet.

Re-think what you eat.

My weekend will be filled with water balloons. School projects. Sparklers. And yard sales.

What are you doing this weekend?

Love Thursday

cassie — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:27:54 +0000

I know, it is Thursday and I am supposed to post a letter. But you know what? IT’S MY BIRTHDAY. And yes, I am one of those girls that walks around letting everyone in her path know that this day should be solely devoted to her.

I decided since it is my birthday I would take part in Chookooloonks ten things I love.

1. Birthdays and all that come with them. (this includes cupcakes, sparkles, and miller lite)

2. Sweaty summery hugs from my energy filled child

3. Cookies. yes, I love cookies.

4. The feeling of the cool evening air hitting my bare shoulders.

5. Dancing. Really dancing anywhere will do it for me. the bar? the streets? my living room? I’ll take it!

6. The feeling that I have been in this world for twenty-three years and still, I have so far to go.

7. The challenge of reading a work of philosophy. And then then writing a twenty page paper surrounding it.

8. Summer Dresses–I mean seriously? An excuse not to wear pants and look so pretty? win-win

9. The beautiful women I have in my life. (to name a few)

10. Making lists about all of the things I love in my life. (because their is a lot)

What do you love?

Book Club–Being and Nothingness

cassie — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:04:32 +0000

I have noticed some people starting online book clubs. Here is the deal, I read a lot. Not just books but blogs, magazines, newspapers, and articles. The books that I read are rarely interesting to other people. Which makes me a little sad.

I am soon starting to work my way through Being and Nothingness by Jean Paul Sartre. From what I hear this book can be life changing. So, I would like to invite my readers and the rest of this fantastic bloggosphere to join me in not just making my way through the book but actually diving into intellectual discussion.

Here is what you need to do…

1.) If you want to take part leave a comment on this post and let me know.

2.) Go buy the book or pick it up at the library. (You can find it for around $5 here, and no that is not an affiliate link)

3.) Each week I will post the reading “assignment” on Tuesday. Every Friday I will post a conversation around the section filled with favorite quotes and questions to help inspire thought. We can dive into the conversation via commenting.

I am hoping with all my might that at least SOMEONE will take part in this. If not, I will still be reading being and nothingness all by myself. Please don’t make me do that…

Getting Stuff Done.

cassie — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:53:20 +0000

Whenever I have something I have to get done I have a process.

I stress out
I realize that said task needs to be completed and I start frantically panicking that I don’t have enough time, knowledge, power to get said task done. This includes everything from writing an essay to doing the dishes.

I try and complete it
I sit down and attempt to complete said task. However, I am so overwhelmed with stress and I haven’t put much thought into it so I waste ten mins trying to do something I am in no way ready to do.

I let it sit
I let it sit for a while. Thinking about it the entire time. Analyzing what I have to do and the strategy that I need to take to make it awesome.

I conquer it
I finally take the reflection that I have made about the task and the way in which I am going to go about completing it and I sit down and complete said task. And it isn’t just done but it is done well.

So, my question is: Why do I allow myself to have a panic attack over every task that I need to complete? Why can’t I just say: I will get it done when I get it done. OR I will just think on that for a while and then sit down and do it later tonight.

Why do I freak out?

And, it is necessary?

I am a little afraid that if I don’t freak out that I will just put it off and never get it done.

hmmm…Thoughts? Advice?