“Are you on Foursquare? Do you use Foursquare? Why don’t you use Foursquare more?”

So this year I made it my goal to use Foursquare more.

Where did I go this weekend?

I’m glad you asked.

Last week I wrote a post about how to get press for your blog. After publishing it I got an email from a blogger who was curious about how you pitch a story.  What does a pitch look like?

When my blog was mentioned on the New York Times I had sent Lisa Belkin an email that said something along the lines of:

“Hi Lisa,
I started a project on my blog and asked women to write letters to their twenty-something selves. I have received letters from women across the country including letters from well-known bloggers Maggie Masonand Jessica Gottlieb. I thought this might be something you would be interested in featuring on The Motherlode.”

I never heard a response but two weeks later I got a notification that my blog had been mentioned on NewYorkTimes.com. There are a few things to keep in mind when pitching a story:

 

Read the rest over at She Posts. 

The night after we pulled his tooth out I heard him crying in his bed. When I asked him what was wrong his tears turned into a full on sob.

“I just want my tooth back in my mouth. I just want everything to go back to normal.”

It took all the strength in the world not to say “me too” and curl up with him and cry.

Things move too fast.

I have been thinking about going back to school. Actually, I have never stopped thinking about going back to school but I think I found a program I might actually want to do. A program that would work with my current life schedule. I am not ready to tell you what the program is but I can tell that if you thought I was crazy for getting a Philosophy degree? You are going to totally lose your mind on this one.

Last weekend I started working on my entrance essay and found myself pouring on to the page words that I didn’t know I had in me. What came out of it was a twenty-page memoir type essay about a story that I have spent the past five years trying to figure out how to tell.

I want to tell more stories.

Wednesday I wore a dress and tights and was probably over-dressed but I really didn’t care. I took the day off and instead of sitting in my office, building beautiful things and talking to myself, I went to see people! People! I decided that  people seeing required tights and a dress. Because sometimes that is just the way it is.

I really want to re-invent this blog, or maybe delete and start a new blog from scratch. Sometimes I imagine that I could be a food blogger, or a craft blogger or maybe a humor blogger. But then I realize that I would have to learn to cook, or sew, or craft. These feelings aren’t just applicable to this blog, its how I think about my life sometimes too. Maybe I can erase and start anew as a baker, or a musician that travels the country, or maybe even a celebrity. Perhaps, I could be more Paris Hilton like?

It’s not that I don’t enjoy my life, I really do. I just wish there was more consistency in being me. I wish I had a specific talent or hobby or personality trait that perfectly described me. I try to imagine if I were a character in a book who I would be, but I am pretty sure that I wouldn’t fit into a book because my character would be too messy and all over the place. A good friend of mine describes me as “un-categorically strange,” because I can’t even fit into the traditional definitions of strange. I am my own kind of weird, my own kind character and sometimes that is completely annoying.

Today I am linking up with Just Write.

On a completely unrelated note you can find me over here this week talking about what trends we are going to see in the next year. I am also over here talking about How-To get press for your blog. 

“A few months ago The New York Times announced that KJ Dell’Antonia would be joining them as the new blogger for Motherlode. Last week I had the opportunity to chat with KJ about her new position, her writing background and what aspiring writers need to do to take their career to the next level.

KJ began her career in the legal field but said that she has always been a writer and was always meant to be a writer. ‘I like to say that writers are born not made.’”

Continue Reading….

The joys of Netflix Instant Streaming has enabled this problem and has allowed me to watch every single episode of The Hills, Weeds, Roseanne, The Secret Life of an American Teenager, Switched at Birth and now Gossip Girl. In the past few weeks I have watched over 82 episodes of Gossip Girl. My friends told me that I shouldn’t admit that to anyone and here I am documenting it for all to see.

Gossip Girl has been on for a few years now so when you sit down and watch every season from start to finish you notice things you might otherwise miss.

Like what, you ask?

1. Technology has changed. A LOT. 

We all know that there is a new phone, tablet, must have tech device rolling out every other month. Everyone always wants the hot new thing but I never realized HOW fast it changed. At the beginning of the show all of the characters had LG phones (hear that? NOT smart phones) and they had to text their submissions to Gossip Girl. Keep watching and you will see that soon the characters have new phones and are able to submit pictures to Gossip Girl and by the end they have iphones and are sending Videos! Videos! For real, Chuck Bass was carrying an LG Dare?

2. Product placements on shows have gotten weird.

Because I work in the world of PR I always seem to notice the product placements in shows. In the beginning seasons of Gossip Girl there weren’t any product placements other than mentions of designers and hotels. By season four they have piles of Vitamin Water on their coffee table and Lily Humphrey/Bass/Vanderwoodsen is shopping at Gilt Groupe in an un-comfortably obvious way.

Is it just me or is that WEIRD?

3. People are so predictable

My favorite part of this show is how they scheme everyone. They can map out step-by-step how a person will react in any situation. I have a couple of friends who can TOTALLY do this and I suddenly realized how valuable this skill really is. I mean, would Blaire be marrying a prince if she didn’t know how to scheme? Would Charlie be living in a penthouse? Would Serena have a booming career? No, they wouldn’t. I want to marry a prince and live in a penthouse. My new years resolution is to learn how to scheme better. Wish me luck.

4. I want to be Chuck Bass.

No explanation needed.

5. I want to be Blaire Waldorf.

No explanation needed.

 Do you have any good Gossip Girl stories? Who is your faveorite character? Which vitamin water would you drink if you could drink any vitamin water? (See how awkward that is?)

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When I cross over into a new decade of my life, I do a personal assessment:

• Have I accomplished all I thought I would by this age?
• Am I where I thought I would be – or should be?
• Where do I want to be at the end of this coming decade?

Since I began doing this exercise in my 30^th year of life and have done so when I turned 40 and then again this past year when I turned 50, it has led to tremendous changes in my life.

It led to a promotion in the first case, to me changing careers in the next decade and moved me to run for Congress in this past year.

Pretty major life-changing events.

Now that I am three decades past my 20-year-old self, and presumably 30 years smarter, more seasoned and better ready to take on my next 30 years, here is what I would tell that younger version of who I am today. Consider it overall advice that would never steer my 20-year-old self – or any 20-year-old for that matter – wrong:

1. Do what you love. If you’re not doing what you love, keep searching for whatever that may be.
2. And do it with people you admire, enjoy being around, can learn from and who respect you.
3. Be appreciative. None of us, not a single one of us, anywhere, anyhow get anywhere without the help of others.
4. Be there. In the moment. Pay attention to the one you’re with. To do otherwise, is rude (and –bonus advice — don’t ever be rude.)
5. No matter where you are or who you are with, you are no better, nor any worse, than anyone else. Don’t act like you are. Be nice to everyone around you. Say their name when you see them. Smile when you see them. It’s not that hard, and it will help lead toward your success. Really.
6. Say yes to opportunities that scare you. It’s another way of saying take risks in your career and in your life – all that are legal, ethical and have the potential of making you better. This is a tough one, but it can make all the difference in your life.
7. Don’t be so darn self-conscious. Sure, others may judge you. But if you want to say something nice to someone, but wonder how they’ll take it, say it anyway.

OK, this list of seven could include so many others. The typical be honest, work hard etc. But at age 20, you should already know about all of those. They go without saying.

Now, go live your next decade, and the one after that and after that and after that by following this note and in a way that you will love life, love yourself, love those around you… and all the while be doing something great.

Cheri Bustos of East Moline, Illinois, is a former reporter, investigative journalist, newspaper editor, health care executive and is currently running for Congress as a Democrat in the 17^th District of Illinois. She is married and has three sons, a grandson and two dogs. 

Oh 2011, you were so bi-polar.

I considered creating a 2011 recap post with a bunch of pictures from the year. I started thumbing through Facebook to find pictures I could use and most of them looked something like this:

(last New Years Eve. Yes, those are potato chips in my hand)

And this:

(This was taken in March. I was pretending to be Marilyn Monroe–see the resemblance?)

I am really good at photo opps. Clearly.

This year Aiden and I  moved into our first house and took my first full-time job. I traveled to New York, Chicago, Nashville, Palm Springs, New Orleans and San Diego. I wrote a ton, created more powerpoints than I ever imagined possible and watched over 70 episodes of Gossip Girl. (not an easy task) I grew my own food,  got over my fear of public speaking, ate sea urchin, rode in a petty cab and survived Aiden’s first day of kindergarten. I met Drew Brees, Giuliana Rancic, Bob Harper and sat on Melissa Peterman’s lap. I welcomed old friends who came back home, I threw fits, quit speaking to people, made new friends, made up with old friends and became more demanding than I have ever been in my life.

A couple of months ago I went to Camp Mighty and attended a session that talked about intention and how we fit intention into our lives. It occurred to me that this past year I was not at all intentional with the things that I did and the way that I spent my time. I had absolutely no goals or direction other than survival. I was simply existing, wading through the days and hoping good stuff would happen. (and good stuff did happen)

When I was in college my entire  experience was centered around this larger purpose of graduating college. I had this big lofty goal and all I had to do to achieve it was meet with my guidance counselor twice a year and check courses off of a list. At the end of that list was diploma and with that diploma all of my dreams would come true. Right?

 After college there wasn’t any big lofty goal. I wasn’t the only person who spent their first year after college wading in the un-known—none of my friend’s seemed to have a center purpose for their lives either. Ok, there were a few of them who had long ago made it their goal to become President and were now sitting in the background of episodes of c-span but those are a rare breed.

I haven’t set one single goal and because of that I haven’t had any steps in place that were leading in any kind of direction.

2012 is going to be my year of intention.

My goal for 2012 is to set some goals.

I want to ask for lofty things that probably won’t happen but I can at least start building my life to move in the direction I need it to go.

What are your 2012 goals?

Not really MY twenties but more what it means to be in your twenties and what this decade is really all about.

I started working on my book again which is what prompted all of this reflecting on my twenties stuff. It seems that every time I decide there is no way I am going to write a book EVER. I find myself hunched over my computer pouring my stories out. Go figure?

I used to think that your twenties were about having fun. I mean, what is this decade for if it isn’t about dancing on tables and making a fool of yourself? And then I realized that your twenties might actually be about learning.

One time a good friend told me that you should think of ever job opportunity as a free education. You should consider what the position will teach you and who you will be learning from. I kind of blew that advice off at the time but now I realize that not only was she right but that the same principal might just apply to life.

Think of every life experience as a free education. What will you learn? Who are you learning from?

It isn’t as much fun to think of life that way. Mostly because I think I have spent the past four years taking the same three classes over again. Just when I think I have found the answer I realize the semester is over and I am back at zero.

I am taking this metaphor too far, aren’t I?

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I got to meet one of my favorite writers. She and her daughter are writing a book about twenty-something’s, focusing on the many decisions that must be made during this decade. She has a fascinating view on twenty-somethings that you can read more about here.

They are trying to get a sense of how Milennials experience their twenties by sending out a questionnaire asking for details about your life, how you know you’re an adult, and what your plans are for the future. If you are interested you can email them at cusp.the.book@gmail.com and they will send you the questionnaire.

(responses can be anonymous)

“As a PR professional I often get asked about Klout scores and if I use them when choosing the bloggers that we work with. The answer? Yes and no. When you are choosing bloggers to partner with, there are a number of things that go into that choice, one of which being how big of a reach that blogger has. I would never solely look at someone’s Klout score to determine how much influence they have. With access to Twitter, Facebook and Google+, I can look at a number of statistics that show me how large of a reach a blogger has.So againthe question of whether or not Klout is even necessary comes up. If we have access to all of these different stats, why do we need a tool that grades our social presence?”

Read the rest over at She Posts.

Thanks to Duncan Hines for sponsoring my writing. There’s no limit to the baking possibilities, so grab your favorite Duncan Hines mix and Comstock or Wilderness fruit fillings and Bake On! www.duncanhines.com.

The most interesting thing about being in your twenties is how quickly things change. At age twenty you are in college and probably eating greasy pizza on a dorm room floor. By then end of your twenties you probably have a career and possibly a husband and maybe even a couple of children. (aka you are a grown-up)

Currently I am right in the middle.

In the past year I have watched friends get married, have babies, buy houses, have second babies, get engaged, move across the country and make terrible and wonderful decisions. Everyone seems to be settling down and “girls night out” seems less important to everyone involved.

It used to be essential that you had plans every Friday and every Saturday.

Making plans for the weekend mattered. A lot.

Now, I find myself calling a friend because I realize I have forty-five minutes of free-time after my trip to the grocery store. So we sit on couches and catch up while the frozen food in my car becomes less frozen. We are usually wearing pajamas and my hair is thrown up on top of my head but it doesn’t really matter.

That is what I have learned in my twenty-fourth year.

It doesnt really matter what you are doing with your friends, it is the time that you spend together. The understanding that they are there for you no matter what.

I am afraid as time starts moving faster and our days get even busier that we might lose these moments.

A while back I went to Camp Mighty and heard Evany talk about building a better life. She said that if you surround yourself with awesome people then there will always be awesome things to do. So that is my goal this year and my challenge for you–surround yourself with awesome people, prepare yourself for awesome moments and fill your life with the things that matter.

Call your best friend on the way to the grocery store. Bake cupcakes and invite your neighbors over. Create a party in your living room just because you can.

Girls night in doesn’t have to be about planning the perfect party. It doesn’t have to be about playing Boggle and making elegant desserts. Girls night in can consist of sweatpants, ponytails and cupcakes and it still won’t lose its magic.

Remember to check out Duncan Hines’ website www.duncanhines.com to find some great recipes for your holiday get-together! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.