I met Stephanie last year at BlogHer. The fact that we have only known each other for one year is mind blowing to me. So quickly she went from someone I stalked on Twitter to a cherished friend and finally became my boss.  But the truth is? She is so much more than just a boss. She is very much my personal cheerleader.

So many of the letters that I have received capture something that deeply resonates within myself.  I too struggle with taking notice of my good qualities. Recognizing my successes. I have a really tough time believing in myself.

With every new success comes a million new doubts. A million worries. A million potential screw ups.

Stephanie is a continuous reminder that I can do it. Again and again she has offered me opportunities to grow along with advice to guide.

She is that person in your life that is standing on the side lines screaming You GO Girl!  The person that tell you that you are special so often that you cannot help but believe her.

She is the influence every young woman needs in their life.

Cassie Boorn, Barbara Jones, Allison Worthington, & Stephanie Smirnov
Type A Mom Conference 2009
Photo taken by Rick of Tiny Prints

Dear 20-year old Stephanie:

Future Stephanie here, writing to you from 2010. I have so much to tell you. Some of it’s going to be tough to hear but don’t worry – it all works out in the end.

You’re in the middle of your senior year in college and I know you’re having a VERY good time. But do me a favor – don’t blow off that Studio Art class. Watching “All my Children” is simply not important enough to get an F and blow your shot at summa cum laude.

Also? That football player from Virginia Tech and his crazy, drunken family? Get away from that insanity as fast as you can. He may be one fine specimen but you are waaay too good for him. Did you not notice the only reading material in his apartment was Playboy and Cliff Notes?

Speaking of men, you will have three big love affairs before you meet your husband. Two of those three are wonderful men with whom you should not be afraid to remain friends after you break up. (You’ll get this opportunity thanks to this thing called Facebook that I can’t even explain to you now, your head will explode.)

By the way – I did say ‘husband.’ You will find one. Maybe not on the timeline you originally planned but trust me, he’s well worth the wait. He will not be the man you expected but oh is he the man you need. Not to give anything away but you might want to switch your French studies for Russian.

I should also mention — you’re going to be a mom. It’ll happen at exactly the right time. You will have a wonderful pregnancy and an easy delivery. Epidurals ROCK. There’s nothing to be afraid of and oh my god – wait till you meet your son. You can’t even imagine the wonder and beauty and magic of a son.

Let’s talk about your mom. She’s your best friend. Keep it that way. Forget the petty bulls*** because life is way, way too short. Mom won’t be around forever. I don’t want to frighten you but please understand that. You will go through a lot together over the next two decades and the only thing that matters is that you keep loving her.

You are a gorgeous, healthy young woman. I don’t think you realize how blessed you are. We never appreciate what we have until it’s gone and darling, thanks to some really bad stress-eating habits that form around 2000, you will pack on some serious pounds and this amazing figure of yours will be a distant memory. Don’t do that. You’ve got too much sense not to take care of yourself. You know better.

Don’t be afraid of New York City. It is quite simply the most glorious city in the world. You’ll master it just like you master everything else you put your mind to. (Even hailing cabs.)

Lastly – trust yourself. You’ll have a few missteps along the way but for the most part you make really good decisions. You have a keen instinct, just listen to it. And quit worrying so much about pleasing people and wondering what they think about you. You’re awesome, you really are.

It all turns out pretty terrific at the end, sweetheart. You’ll see.