Sarah: A Letter to my 20 something self
ByI was thrilled last week when I received this beautiful letter from Sarah. By the end of reading it my eyes were filled with tears and I was nodding my head as if she were writing it to me. Which just comes to show how universal the feelings of a “20-something” girl really are.
I find myself often getting lost in the everyday rat race. Running into adulthood full force. Often times wishing I could skip this part in my life. The more letters I read the more I realize I need to slow down and look around. Take that risk. Do that thing I really want to do.
And seriously, the love that I want but always wonder if it really exists…it does? wow.
Dear 20 year old Sarah,
First of all, let’s get this out of the way: no, you are not crazy. Yes, you should probably talk to someone. There’s no shame in that. You should also go outside more.
The biggest message I want to impart to you is that it’s okay to do things at your own pace. It’s not a race, it’s not a competition, and if you wait and get there on your own, you’re going to be so pleased to see how that turns out. Remember that line from the Desiderata that your mom always quotes and you roll your eyes at: If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Relax a little. Don’t rush being older and boring. It’s okay to wear those clothes you don’t think you have the body for, or to get that haircut or color you don’t think you can pull off. You’re 20 and tan, with all your own teeth. You can pull off just about anything.
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. That means to your sexist boss or your undermining friend. Most people treat other people poorly because they don’t think very highly of themselves. Fixing them is not your problem.
I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but: almost every single thing you wished for on the first entry of your post-college diary comes true. Even that one thing you were afraid to write down. I KNOW!
I felt like it was okay to share that because I also have to level with you: things are going to be really, really hard. Sometimes they’re going to be awful, and a few times they’re going to be unbearable. The only wisdom I have is that that’s how it goes, but if you wait it out, it always gets better. That thing you’re embarrassed to think sometimes, that some days the only thing that keeps you going is to wonder what juicy celebrity gossip you’d miss if you killed yourself? It’s okay to think if that keeps you from killing yourself.
Also, this sounds a little cheesy, but you are pretty. I want you to believe that because I know you honestly never think you are, and I honestly don’t believe I am now, but I can see you now, and you are. I imagine 40 year old Us will have a lot to say about this. Probably that we should talk to someone and go outside more.
Finally, that kind of love you want, that you don’t think exists? It exists. You will find it. It will find you, actually. So calm down. Not everything is such a big deal. Get some sleep and have some fun.
Love,
32 year old Sarah
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Wow. After reading this, I’m wishing 32-year-old Karen was as wise as 32-year-old Sarah is.
Lovely letter.
K.
Oh, I loved this. I loved it so much.
wow. this is wonderful. I bet you are pretty, even now.
She is pretty.
Sarah has no idea, but her writing has helped me keep the faith for going on 5 years now. I’m not sure her 20 or 32 year old self ever saw that coming: that a total stranger (sometimes living in China or Germany) counted on her for hope here and there. Just goes to show that staying in and typing goes a long way, too!
At 22, going through pretty much everything one could be going through when busting your butt for years in college, yet still coming out to move home with your parents and be without a job… I really needed to read this. Thanks for that.
Katie! Reading that made my day.
And Milana, I lived with my parents for a year after college. It was rough, but worth it for everything that came after.
[...] A Letter to my 20-something self on Cassie Boorn’s [...]
Read this and now feel like a shallow cow after posting this about 6 hours ago. Yours was much more helpful (not to mention nicer!)
http://www.woogsworld.com/2010/06/letter-to-myself.html
I love this letter so much that I’ve come back to read it several times. It touches a very deep chord with me. I am keen to start reading your blog, Sarah.
wonderful insight from a wonderful daughter
That was so lovely. And very relevant to the 20yr old me. I’m 50 next year and all of those things written in your letter came true for me.
Coming back and reading these comments makes me so happy. Especially the one from my dad. Hi Dad!
I was listening to NPR when they were talking baout Cassie’s blog and this is one of the stories they read, and i promised myself to come back and read it. I am a 24 year old, straight out of college and looking for a job, the letter resonated to me because i do feel like im in a competition and want eveyrthing to look up as soon as possible but reading this has given me faith that its not bad if i do things my own way much as people may think i am wrong..so thank you Sarah and Cassie
This is to Mrs. Woog’s comment. I am glad that you letter is different. There are great take away points from both and I look forward to reading more letters!
I hardly comment but… this is beautiful!
Cassie, your idea is sensational (I wish I had thought of it!). I heard your interview on NPR a few days ago and was intrigued. Now that I’ve see what this is all about, I’m telling all my girl friends. This letter, in particular, is truly amazing and I too feel as if she’s writing to me. Wheew! It’s all going to be alright after all. Thanks again.
~Lydia