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In starting this project I was in hope of finding the secret of life success.  I was expecting letters full of advice for getting ahead in your career. Advice on finding “the one” and how to make it big.

I found none of that

What I have found…is so much more.

None of you are talking about the extra work you should have done. You are not wishing you had partied a little less or concentrated on your career a little more. Instead, I am finding quite the opposite. You are wishing you loved yourself a little deeper. You are wishing that you had a little more fun. You are wishing you took a few more risks and were a tad more playful. You are wishing you reveled in yourself and worried less.

I am twenty-two and let me tell you..it is hard to revel in yourself. It is hard not to worry that you are making a mistake that might ruin your life. It is hard wondering how it is all going to turn out.

In every letter that I read I find that you are saying “It is all going to turn out ok.” and I feel as though you are speaking to me.

Thank you.

A letter from Kristen:

Dear Kristen at 20,

That guy you’re infatuated with?  He’s got a physical type that you’ll never resemble, so just let it go.  When you come back from foreign study, he’ll be dating your band-mate anyway.  Also, he loves cats.

When you’re studying in a foreign country, try and live it up more.  I’m proud you got a 3.8 GPA, but you’re 20 and it’s Mexico. It’s okay to go clubbing once in a while.

I’m not going to tell you to stop smoking — it’s new to you, you won’t listen to me anyway, and you’ll be done with them by 30 — but look into Crest White Strips.  It’ll save you a few hours of Zoom tooth whitening agony later on.

Senior year of college, you’ll obsess over another guy and end up dating him for five years. Five years is probably too long.  I’m not saying don’t date him, but I am saying, don’t let his extreme frugality and fear of the world rub off on you.  In your 20s, money and security are less important than fun.

Corporate recruiting?  Skip it and go out to breakfast. The one interview you go on depresses you. After graduation, you’ll be a paid intern for a video documentary series in North Carolina. Doesn’t that sound nice?

When you’re 23, you’ll have the opportunity to share a rented house in the woods with a roommate. You’ll want to turn it down because the dirt driveway is long and your compact car gets stuck in the mud on your way out of the appointment.  Take the apartment. It borders state park land and loads of hiking and skiing trails. Living there will probably change your life.  You can always change your mind and break your lease if you don’t like it.  You’ve got nothing to lose; if you don’t take it, you’ll live in your mom’s house for too long, all in the name of saving money.

When you leave your first real job, take the money you saved and go back to Mexico for a few months. Write that novel or collection of short stories.  Travel.  Do the things you didn’t do when you were a grade grubbing student.

When you come back, move to New York.  Take whatever job you need to take to make it happen. Taking the train in and crashing on friends’ floors in Brooklyn is good for the soul, maybe, but bad for the back.

Have fun. Take chances. Be kind. Don’t worry about what others think. Your 20s are for you. Enjoy them. And stop taking everything so seriously!

Love,

Kristen at 36

Also, I entered this giveaway over at The Run Amuck. She is giving away a fabulous book. I wanted to share the giveaway with you because I love The Run Amuck and I love books. Enjoy!

Related posts:

1. karen: A Letter to your 20 something self
2. Sarah: A Letter to my 20 something self
3. Mothers Day as a single mom
4. Maggie Mason: A Letter to your 20 year old self