Archive for January, 2010
My New Mantra
Posted by: | CommentsI have been a single mother now for nearly four years. In that four years I have worked as a waitress, cook, bartender, earned my associates, met incredibly famous people, traveled endlessly, moved to a city where my costs doubled, and raised an incredibly young man.
Throughout that four years I have worried every step of the way. I worried I would fail. I worried the money would not come in. I worried that I would let him down. I worried that I couldn’t handle the course load. I worried it would all fall apart.
I find myself worrying so often that I miss out on a good portion of my life. I am a single mother. There is no other option. I either make it or we don’t.
It’s scary.
I get scared.
I know that many things are out of my power. Yet, I try to control them.
I know that sometimes things just happen. Yet, I try to stop them.
My new mantra: I can only control myself, in this moment, right here.
Friday Night Fun
Posted by: | CommentsI became a mother very young. I remember holding my newborn and watching my friends get ready to go out for the night. I remember them putting on their makeup and dolling themselves up with makeup while I dreamed of the day I could shower again.
At some point in the past years things have changed. I no longer watched my friends being young in envy. I became content in the security and love that filled my life.
It is Friday night. I am sure many of my friends are getting ready to head out on the town. Do you know where I am?
I am baking cookies with a pretty happy little boy.
and there is nothing you could say to convince me that being young and wild is better than this.
This is the best Friday night I have had in a long time.
And chocolate chip cookies are the perfect ending to a day stuck in bed with the flu.
